I feel the envelope of memories folding over me and i discovered and see this child standing there in my minds eye, staring, lost and with this wolf by her side. I take her to a safe place and she lay down with her wolf whom she is familiar with, they are like one. She needs to rest, gather her bearings, where has she been?, where did she appear from?
Time after time she just pops up in my mind after a bout of anxiety and fear, when i stop and collect and meditate there she is. At least it is a little easier to function in between visits now, i am awear every winter along with the wolf they come, to show me another facet of my self, together we journey into the ancestors world and i gain understanding and knowledge that not many would understand.
I cant very well say to those around me oh im having flashbacks, thats how it starts, fear blown provoking thoughts and past events, the fight or flight kicks in and i spend some time working what i need to be safe from. I at this point can attract the negative that i must challenge.
Oh years and years of feeling mental and disoriented, sceared and alone. I still feel all these things but i have been awake instead of numbing myself from the inevitable for the past 6 years now.Im taking it easy now and keeping safe and the things i need to deal with apear like pop ups on a computer, less anxiety but it has been overwhelming of late. Not being able to catch my breath. It passes, just dont feak out, it gets better.
I have ironically started a canvas picture of a girl standing alone in the seft hand corner, the femine side and it has come to a halt but know it will speak to me and tel me its plans. It has roses all over it, that means blooming.
I will use that concept of blooming, the growth, greens and reds, heart charkra and root charkra. I look forward to what might be.
Blessings
